Thursday, November 29, 2007

If they aren't made of rubber, why are they called rubbers?


My thoughts on condoms...
Guys, listen up. There are a couple things you need to know about condoms, from this girl's perspective.
1. The man shall purchase the condoms. I already pay upwards of $25-$30 a month to prevent your evil seed from infiltrating the fragile boundary of my eggs. You can spring for the $12.95 or whatever a pack of condoms cost to keep away any evil funk.
2. The man shall provide the condoms. The "But I don't have a condom" excuse is not going to get you far, especially now that we are all over the age of 17. And no, Dan, it is not just a great way to be sure to get a blow job. It's not pretentious to bring a condom.
3. The man shall dispose of the condom. Further, he may not say either of the following while doing so:
"This is so gross!" Yeah, I know it's gross. That's why I want you to dispose of it.
"What should I do with this?" I don't care just get rid of it! But don't flush it down my toilet because I already can't shower and wash my dishes in the same night.
Ladies, am I wrong here? It's just proper condom etiquette.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

I would like to add that tying a knot in the thing and throwing it on the floor until the next morning is not an acceptable disposal method.
Also, the fact that I got into a debate about this very issue with three grown men this Friday makes me worry about our generation.

shelley said...

Yeah that thing with the floor is no good because if you have wood floors or tile it sticks and it is super disgusting.
I think the thing that really worries me about the thing Friday night is that the guy had a bet going that he couldn't find one dude in that whole dude bar who had a condom on him. Ok not ON him so much as in his possession.