Daily Snark: How have we not thought of this already?

In 2010, there are a lot of things I can't believe we haven't figured out. Hover cars. Computers that perceive our thoughts as opposed to requiring us to type. Etc.

And apparently, removable uterii...

shelley: i think i want a hysterectomy

my sister got one

Mari: really?

shelley: yep
and the doctor said it was the worst uterus he'd ever seen

Mari: elective or because her uterus had issues?

shelley: it had issues

Mari: uteri are terrible

we should get removable ones

shelley: fuck yeah

Mari: that we can keep in a safe place

and then stick them up there when/if we want to store a fetus in them

shelley: sounds good to me

i have a better idea

let's just grow fetuses outside

like in jars or something

and while we're at it, can we grow fetuses that are potty trained?

Mari: oh yeah

Mari: wouldn't that be fabulous

they would be like cabbage patch kids

shelley: but less ugly, hopefully

Daily Snark: Why do people want to be ugly?

Kids today, I don't understand their fashion. It's like they want to be ugly. Matted hair, the ripped pants, mismatched suits with ugly ass bow ties...the 80's were bad in the 80's and they are still bad today. So when I saw a woman sporting what I thought to be terrible fashion this morning on the bus, I had to wonder if she is just clueless or if I am the one who's out of the loop. Naturally, I consulted with Kris, and the result is more Daily Snark gold...

shelley: i have this new intern and she is so cute. she has the hipster bangs and the big ugly glasses

i usually find that kind of thing hideous but on her it's so adorable

Kris: some of them are super cute. kinda like the dogs with the smashed in face

shelley: yes. i did see a woman with her ponytail held in place by a very large barette the way we used to do in the early 90s

and i was silently judging her until i wondered if that was popular again and i am the one who is square

Kris: god i hope the 90s are back

the 80s need to piss off

shelley: sure,but big barettes should not come back

ever

Kris: what if they had fake birds or large flowers on them

shelley: that's already back

large flowers anyway

shelley: i saw some employee at home depot wearing a barette with a giant flower yesterday

she seemed out of place
Kris: okay well what if they had seaweed covered in oil?

shelley:how about if they had fake birds covered in oil?

Kris: love it

Too soon?

Anyway, it's not like I care that much if I'm the only square that doesn't embrace big barettes or whatever other awful trend happens. If being ugly is right, I DEFINITELY want to be wrong.

New Feature: Daily Snark!

Sometimes IM conversations are just too good to keep to yourself, so I decided to share! It might not be daily and it might not always be snark but I promise you'll love it anyway. Enjoy!

In today's installment, thoughts on sneaker culture, whatever that is.

me: i think matt just got porn in the mail or something

it's this magazine and there's all these half naked chicks on the cover surrounding this really hip-ugly dude

russel brand?

Kris: it's proly a jc penny catalogue

me: the magazine is called Complex

it looks pretty useless

Kris: Complex is a metropolitan men's style/lifestyle magazine founded by Marc Ecko in 2002. The publication offers mainstream readers insight into the latest trends in urban America's niche cultures, such as streetwear, sneaker culture, hip hop, and graphic art. Complex targets men that are college-aged to early 30s in urban areas.

The "magazine" is essentially a compilation of advertisements aimed at a target market of 20-35 year old males. It can arrive without solicitation in one's mailbox, but the company is quite understanding about the environmental impact and will cancel a "subscription" if requested.

me: sneaker culture?

Kris: oh yeah that's actually really big right now

me: i weep for the future

Kris: well sneaker culture has been big since like hip hop started

me: was it called "sneaker culture" though

cause that's sadness

Kris: haha, no but they did were oversized shoes, kinda like how anime characters are now, to accentuate the "larger-than-life" visage of hiphop

i learned that in my pop culture class

me: very impressive

Kris: now the sneaker culture is just an echo though, like all other fashions right now, rip off of 80s high tops, vinyl, and neon

gag

me: yeah wtf is up with neon

i told matt it is just a matter of time until those safety pin bracelets come back

Kris: it's hideous and really needs to go away already. it's been around for like 5 years

me: vomit

Kris: i admit, I have a shirt I bought like 4 years ago that's totally neon red/orange

but it has a dot design of a woman in s&M gear with her nipple showing blowing the smoke off a gun

me: well nipple never goes out of style

Kris: thank you!!

Kris's new status message - nipple never goes out of style 11:23 AM